


the difference between weird and eccentric

by hoye



Category: Marvel
Genre: Character Study, M/M, No Plot/Plotless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27720914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoye/pseuds/hoye
Summary: Here’s the thing about Tony Stark: not a lot of people realize they’ve run into him once — usually at least twice — on the streets of New York City.What were they thinking when they let the richest man alive walk past them without a second glance?Normally, they don’t. They literally walk past him and wouldn’t be able to remember him even if you offered them an unreasonable amount of money to describe him.But sometimes, he’s with Steve and here’s what they’re thinking the moment they see the two together:Why is Captain America talking to that homeless guy?
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 9
Kudos: 152





	the difference between weird and eccentric

**Author's Note:**

> another random thing i found while going through my draft dump folder - this was inspired by some reddit thread about weird rich people who aren't "obviously" rich based on appearance alone

Here’s the thing about Tony Stark: not a lot of people realize they’ve run into him once — usually at least twice — on the streets of New York City.

What were they thinking when they let the richest man alive walk past them without a second glance?

Normally, they don’t. They literally walk past him and wouldn’t be able to remember him even if you offered them an unreasonable amount of money to describe him.

But sometimes, he’s with Steve and here’s what they’re thinking the moment they see the two together:

_Why is Captain America talking to that homeless guy?_

* * * * *

Rich people —not upper-middle class rich, but somewhere more along the lines of I-could-buy-your-entire-life-if-that-were-legal rich — are fucking _weird_. 

Everyone thinks so, even if they won’t admit it, and that’s precisely why the word _eccentric_ seems to be specifically set aside for the billionaires who collect useless and expensive trinkets and say crap that shows exactly how out of touch with reality they are. Like, “I mean, it’s one banana, Michael. How much could it cost? Ten dollars?”

Wait, that’s not quite right.

Rich people are considered **eccentric** ; the average Joe is considered weird.

The reason for it is simple. When you have enough money to own the entire world three times over, you can’t really be bothered to give a shit about anything. Whether that’s in relation to manners or dress code or any other social norm that is meant to confine people’s behaviors into a neat little patch of “freedom”, rich people just don’t have to live by those rules.

And that’s why it’s an even simpler thing for Tony, who’d given himself quite the reputation early on as the kind of person who’d flaunt wealth at every given opportunity, to take advantage of his inconceivable amount of money to live a completely normal life.

When someone says the name “Tony Stark”, you think “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist”, not “homeless man who talks to crosswalk indicators and pigeons”.

But that’s exactly how Tony spends most of his time in his day-to-day life. 

When he’s shirking his responsibilities (which is near always, to the chagrin of Pepper Potts) and spending hours getting coffee from that one little family-owned shop in Brooklyn, Tony isn’t wearing bespoke designer suits and flashy watches and imported-from-Italy leather shoes - Tony is wearing ratty sweatshirts with punny slogans on them and sweatpants that used to actually fit. His go-to footwear in warmer weather is a pair of crocs decorated with those little rubber charms you pop into the holes (an ironic-turned-unironic gift from Peter Parker). In the winter, he still wears the crocs, just with thick calf-length socks.

“You’re the richest person alive, you would think you’d be able to put an outfit together,” Natasha always says with something like a smile.

“It’s _because_ I’m the richest person alive I can get away with wearing what I damn well please,” Tony responds.

He looks like he’s a failing stand-up comedian most days and his general appearance doesn’t fit anyone’s image of him, so much so that the paparazzi completely ignore Tony when he walks out of the building dressed in his t-shirts and worn jeans. They’re only waiting on the Tony Stark who drives out of the Avengers Tower in his vintage Ferrari and presumably hides his hungover appearance behind overpriced sunglasses, not the Tony Stark who stumbles into the pull-door thinking it’s push.

“I’m surprised no one’s noticed,” Steve says. “I always get caught when I leave the Tower in disguise.”

“That’s because you have too much shame to walk out of here in anything less than a tight-fitting t-shirt and pristine jeans,” Tony says back. “When you stop giving a single fuck, they won’t notice you at all.”

None of the Avengers take his word for it, except for Clint, who already gets to live in relative anonymity as one of the “less popular” members. (He likes it much better that way, no matter what anyone says about jealousy or feelings of inadequacy, because he sees the way Natasha gets noticed in public if she’s not extremely vigilant and that’s entirely against his wishes as a former spy.)

“Your loss,” Tony says, flipping the strap of his crocs over the back of his foot.

* * * * *

“Why is there a rumor that I’m cheating on you with a homeless man?”

Steve is reading the headline of some third-rate tabloid with a frown on his face.

“Someone probably saw us on our last date and didn’t recognize me,” Tony shrugs as he pours himself more coffee.

“Three cups,” Steve reminds him.

Tony sighs. “Yeah, I know. This is the second, alright? Sheesh, calm down. Coffee’s good for you.”

“Not the amount _you_ drink,” Bucky says as he walks into the kitchen. His metal hand slips under his shirt to scratch at his stomach as he yawns. “Or Barton, for that matter.”

There’s a rustle and then a muffled “I resent that” echoes from the air vents.

“Get out of my vents, Clint.”

“Tony, focus. The article. They think I’m cheating on you.”

“So? I know you aren’t.”

Bucky snorts. “He doesn’t care whether you know it or not, he cares what the press’ll think of good ol’ Cap’n ‘Merica being the kind of bastard who makes a cuckold of Tony Stark.”

“Love the use of the word ‘cuckold’, it absolutely doesn’t make you sound a hundred years old.”

“Shut up, Stark.” Bucky pours himself a cup of coffee and downs it in three gulps. 

Clint uses the lull in conversation to wriggle out of the vent and flip onto the floor. “He’s right, though. Steve’s just worried about his reputation as Cap going down the drain.”

“We can fix that,” Tony says.

Steve actually looks relieved until Tony opens his mouth to explain precisely how they’ll do it.

“We just need to upload a compilation of all the times Steve’s yelled ‘fuck’ while in the building and post it to YouTube. Reputation effectively destroyed, no one even thinks about the cuckolding.” Tony raises both arms triumphantly and pairs it with a winning smile.

“Tony—”

“It’s a perfect plan,” Bucky interrupts Steve. “How fast can you get that done?”

“ _Buck, I swear to God—_ ”

“Oh look, he’s swearing now,” Clint points out.

“JARVIS, are you getting this?” Tony calls out.

“Of course, Sir.”

“Jesus Christ, can someone please—”

“Holy shit, he’s doing it again!”

“I’m not—”

“Again!”

“Will you please just shut the fuck up for one god-damn moment so I can speak?”

“Language,” Tony reprimands, unable to stop himself from smirking. 

Bucky and Clint aren’t doing much better to hide their amusement, both grinning.

Steve puts his head in his hands and sighs so loudly, Tony almost feels bad.

“Don’t worry about it, really. Rumors are just rumors, you’ll get used to it.”

* * * * *

The rumors get significantly worse.

Tony can’t figure out exactly when they started paying attention, but the paparazzi start to write outlandish articles about the nature of the “mystery man” and his relationship to the Avengers.

“How lax is security amongst the world’s greatest superheroes that just about _anyone_ can be their friend?” one reporter had said with a disapproving shake of his head.

“This has got to be a joke,” Tony says to the rest of the team at their once-a-week “family” dinner. “Even in the shittiest of photographs, you can obviously tell it’s _me_.”

“People expect you to be an asshole,” Natasha replies. “And you’re dressed so badly, it’s laughable to think you’re worth actual billions. And you’re too nice when you’re not pretending to be _the_ Tony Stark.”

“I’m _always_ Tony Stark,” he says.

“Yeah, but you’re normally the kind of Tony Stark who’ll pay for people’s coffee and leave mysterious hundred dollar tips,” Clint says with a mouth full of naan. “But everyone expects the Tony Stark who won’t even look in their direction unless you pay him to.”

“Is that what people think I’m like?”

“Yes,” they all respond.

“Geez, I’ve watched bullets exit guns slower than that.”

“It can’t be helped,” Bruce says. He doesn’t look up from his food. “You have a reputation.”

“Yeah, from when I was twenty. It’s been literally thirty years.”

“They don’t care,” Bucky says. “They say what they want to hear.”

“Well, I don’t care either.”

“You wouldn’t be you if you did,” Steve says with a smile.

* * * * *

It all comes to a head when Tony and Steve go on their next date and they get swarmed by paparazzi immediately.

“What did I tell you about skin-tight shirts,” Tony grumbles.

“I _tried_ , alright?”

“Excuse me! Captain America, sir, what does Tony Stark think of your new _companion_?” Someone shouts.

“He’s right here,” Steve says, frustration written into every line of his face. “Ask him!”

Every single camera lens is focused on Tony, who is sporting a thrifted Christmas sweater in the middle of summer and brand new platform crocs. He waves cheerfully.

“I’m fine with it,” Tony says, “since it _is_ me.”

* * * * *

The next day, the papers all bear headlines along the lines of “CAPTAIN AMERICA HAS MEMORY LOSS” or “CAPTAIN AMERICA CAN’T RECOGNISE HIS OWN BOYFRIEND”.

“This is fucking ridiculous!” Steve shouts.

“You should give up,” Tony replies. “You’re fighting a losing battle.”

* * * * *

Steve doesn’t give up, since he’s Steve.

But after a full year of fighting tabloids and reporters on his supposed infidelity, Steve changes his tune.

“It’s fine. It’s just fine. It’s great.”

“Say it one more time and I’ll believe you.”

“It’s _fine_ ,” he says through clenched teeth.

“You’ll get used to it,” Tony says back.

* * * * *

Tony continues to wear the awful outfits and god-forsaken crocs and stumbles out of the tower looking like he crawled out of a dumpster moments earlier.

His identity is a mystery that never gets solved by the general public.

It’s a conspiracy theory every Avengers fanatic in the world tries to unravel.

And it’s a truth no one is willing to accept, even though it shouldn’t be that hard to understand: Tony Stark is just eccentric.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! :-)
> 
> you can come find me on [tumblr](https://www.13tongues.tumblr.com)!


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